Where do I begin????

Well I sit here and wonder just what my very first blog would be about.  Would I try to sound serious, Intellectual,  Stupid, Funny,  or just try to be myself and see what comes out?  I think I will stick with the last choice and just see what's on my mind when I begin typing these blog like things.  I will probably make a few English majors cringe at my writing, but I write like I talk, so bear with me if you will.

I guess what should be talked about first is that we are now in another new year. . . .2011.  Wow, does the time ever fly.  I say that because, quite frankly, I am starting to feel the never stopping time thing happening in my life.  Just this past year I had the opportunity to attend a "School" reunion.  I call it a school reunion because I went to a real small private school in Ohio and if we were doing a class reunion, we could have held it in a booth at McDonalds. (I wonder if that constitutes product placement and will get me some free McNuggets.  Man I loves me some Nuggets!!!)

Being from the class of 1986, I think walking into that school for the first time since then, I was shocked and amazed at just how much time really went by.  Seeing people that I hadn't seen in all that time and thinking to myself, "Man do they look older" not facing the fact that I had gotten older too.  I mean think about it.  When we were kids, we would see someone that was in their 30's and we would wonder if we should be looking in the phonebook for nursing homes to put them in.   Now, all of a sudden, 24 years has gone by since I GRADUATED!!!!!  So to do the math for you, I'm 42.  Holy Crap where did all the time go?

I think each and everyone of us don't really see it creep up on us.  I guess I have just gone about my life and refused to see that I now have LESS hair on my head and MORE hair on my ears.  MY EARS!!!!!   What in God's great plan made that appropriate?  "Let's just let him lose hair off the top of the head but I will let him grow new hair just a few inches down."    OH COME ON!!!!  One of the worst days of my life came from me trying to fix a hair that was sticking out on the side of my head by pulling it.  *Pluck*  "OUCH!  That was on the top of my ear."  I had a longer hair coming out the top of my ear than what was coming out of the side of my head where hair has grown all my life.  Talk about having a Oh Crap moment.

Another thing about this whole "getting old" crap, is that I guess for the most of us, our metabolism has officially decided to retire.  The sucky thing is that it got to retire in it's 30's.  I used to be able to eat what I wanted, when I wanted, and as much as I wanted and I would remain the same size year after year.  Well guess what any younger people that might be reading this!!!!   You are in for a HUGE reality check once you hit the 30's.  I like to eat, trust me when I say that.  There is almost nothing better than sitting on the couch late at night watching a great show while stuffing a plethora (toilet paper word of the day - - - CHECK) of snacks in my now round goatee face.  Bring on the Cape Cod Chips, the Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream, call up the Keebler elves to get their tiny butts to baking me some cookies, I DON'T CARE what it is, just give me something to snack on!!!!  Well thanks to all that late night eating, I now have to dry myself in shifts when I get out of the shower.  So I drop to my knees and beg, "Please metabolism.  Come back.  I will give you a raise, a corner office, your own secretary, just please come out of retirement for a few more years."

I'm sure as I keep working on this blog, the topic of age will come up many more times because, #1.  I notice new things almost everyday that makes me face my age and #2.  I will forget that I already talked about it because of me getting forgetful as I get older.  I'm turning more and more into my grandpa growing up, you know, the one we made fun of because he would tell the same stories over and over and also fall asleep in the recliner at the drop of a hat. (I'm now starting to do that in the evenings BTW and I ain't happy about it)

So I guess I will wrap my first blog by saying HAPPY NEW YEAR.  Here is to 2011 and all it might hold for us.  I hope it's a better year for many friends that I know and I hope that we can all find laughter in this whole "life thing" that we are going through.  My blog will go a lot of different ways from here, but I think most times there will be enough comedy thrown in to at least make you smile.  I might just post a poem that pops into my head, I might just gripe about something I just saw on TV or at the Movies.  I might do a review, I might sing, I might dance, okay, I can guarantee I won't sing or dance, I really don't know what's going to come out until I start typing because that's the way my mind works.  I called this blog Mental Vomit for a reason. 

Crap!!!!  I've never done a blog before so how do I end it?  Do I have to come up with a clever catchphrase like the newscasters do. 

"Go pick some fun berries. This is Scott Sweitzer signing out."

Do I do it all formal and stuff?

"Thank you for taking the time to read and follow my blog."

YUCK!!!  Don't like that one either.

I think I will just end this with one word that I use when anyone is feeling down.

SMILE  (yeah.  I like that)