My I Hate List!

Okay, so I shoot up a 4 a.m. thinking about this whole blog thing.  What can I talk about next?  Does anyone really care?   I think I actually dreamed some topics.  This is getting stupid if you ask me.  *Sigh* A mind is a terrible thing to waste I guess, so I'll just keep posting and see what happens. 

I've seen people in the past post "I Hate. . . " lists.  Things that just really chaps your cheeks, burns your buns, or drives you to the brink of insanity.  Things that while walking through your day you notice these things and make you wish "going postal" was a perfectly good defense in court.  You could just look at the judge and say, "But your Honor.  She was going to sue the mall because SHE fell in the fountain while texting.  What else was I supposed to do?"  Judge: "Not Guilty.  She WAS an idiot!!!" 

So I'm going to vent a little and see what shows up on my hate list.  Don't really know what's going to show up so let's all go on this little journey together shall we?  Open valve.  Check!  Release pressure.  Check!  Begin puking.  CHECK!!!

My I Hate List

#1.  I hate vegetables.  Don't sit here and tell me how good they are for me.  Don't care!!!!  That's why they make vitamins. 
#2.  I hate spiders.  Those are just plain creepy. 
#3.  I hate clowns.  (see #2)
#4.  I hate it when people can't count in the express lane.  "It says 10 items.  I'm seeing 22.  I don't care if you're old.  I'm still seeing 22."  Then the cashier doesn't say a thing and there I stand with my  Ben & Jerry's Playtime Playdough Paradise Ice Cream.
#5.  I hate it when the same express lane person has 22 coupons.  10 of them scan fine, but the other 12, the cashier needs to pull each item back out of the bags to check them.  My Ice Cream is now getting soft.
#6.  I hate it when the SAME express lane person wants to pay with a check.  A CHECK!  REALLY?  Who uses checks anymore.  Of course, the huge sign that says cash or credit only right under the 10 ITEMS ONLY sign was ignored once again and the cashier DIDN'T SAY A WORD!!!!   I now have a Playtime Playdough Paradise milkshake.  Thanks IDIOT!!!!
#7.  I hate Team Edward, Team Jacob, and Team Bella.  Edward is a cross between the emo of Pearl Jam, and the gay of Wham.  Jacob is nothing but a German Shepherd with abs.  And Bella is a trouble making attention hog that is NOT good looking enough to warrant the attention.  I'm for Team Van Helsing if he will go take them all out.
#8.  I hate the word Cocoa!   Don't ask me why because I really don't know the psyche behind it.  It's been this way since high school.  Maybe I had a bad Hot Cocoa accident as a kid that I've blocked out. 
#9.  I hate people that have NO discernible talent that have achieved stardom and riches. Here are a few examples:  Paris Hilton, the Kardashians, the entire cast of Jersey Shore, that stupid little kid on YouTube that just lip syncs, any family that popped out kids like a Polaroid camera and got a T.V. show.   If you can't sing, dance, tell jokes, act, or have anything important to say. . . .GO AWAY!!!!!
#10.  I hate people that really and truly think that they are better than anyone else.  Usually the kids that have rich parents and have never had to work a day in their lives that think they are actually important.  I FART ON YOU!!!!
#11.  I hate it when I can't remember someone's name but by the way they are acting, I'm their best friend on the planet.
#12.  I hate people that take life too freaking serious and won't let themselves have fun.  If you are wondering if this is you, did you get offended by #10's I FART ON YOU statement?  *Ding, Ding, Ding* Crack a smile every once in awhile prune face.  Life goes way to quick to suck lemons.
#13.  I hate "friends" that I have to be the one that instigates every contact.  You think a friendship is a two way street, but then you find out it's a one way and you are the only one driving.  Then you finally wake up and realize, they just don't care.   I don't have time anymore for those "friends".
#14.  I hate people that play the bass so loud in their car that I almost crap myself because of the vibrations running through my colon.  I get it, you need attention, but do you really think it has to come at the cost of my underwear?  There is NO possible way you can understand the music inside your car.  I just can't imagine what it sounds like for you. 
#15.  While I'm on the whole music topic.  I hate the ones that pull into a parking lot, gas station, any public place and have all their windows down blaring the most profane garbage that even offends me.  I don't want to fill my tank and have to listen to this talentless music that just uses the F word as a noun, pronoun, verb, adjective, adverb, and a dangling participle. . . .wait. . . .maybe that does take talent.   Once again,  I get it, you feel the need for attention but REALLY?  Show a lick of common sense.
#16.  I hate large crowds while shopping.  I'm a big guy and I just try to stay out of everyone's way while Linda shops.  So I will go stand by what I think is the most un-wanted item in the store, Hamster Snuggies, to be out of the way, but all of a sudden, EVERYONE wants to look at Hamster Snuggies!!!!  Aghhhhhhhh.  So I will move over to the Beet Peelers and guess what?  Everyone needs to PEEL A FREAKING BEET!!!!  I just can't win.  Give me a concert crowd and I'm fine, but get me with insane shoppers and I will snap.  Thank you Amazon.com for MY shopping pleasure.
#17.  I hate it that I have 16 items on my I hate list and I'm not even close to being done but. . . . . . . .

I will wrap it up at those for now.  This will let me do more later, meaning I have another part 2 in my bag of tricks in case I don't know what to "Puke" about one day.  I know that this has been a hate topic but please do me a favor. . . .

SMILE!!!