There are just some moments on TV that can make your blood boil. You sit there and watch whatever it is and the only response you can have is that of utter disdain. My last two recipients of this award have been the lady that sued over falling in the mall fountain while texting and Charlie Sheen. I'm sure you can all agree that they were deserving of their awards. So in the course of the past 12 hours, I have witnessed TWO, that's right TWO, deserving recipients of this esteemed award. I will cover the first one now and should still be angry enough on the second one to do it in a couple of days. So much to complain about and such little time!!!
So Ladies and Gentlemen. The Third recipient of the Chaps My Cheeks Award is. . . . . (insert farting noise)
Whomever created the Auto-Tune, American Idol, and The Black Eyed Peas!!!!!
Yes. I realize that this is a group, but I think all three are deserving at this moment. For those of you that are not familiar with what Auto-Tune is, it is an electronic device that will take your crappy voice and put it in tune for you. That's right. If you SUCK as a singer, no need to worry, just get an Auto-Tune and all your problems will be solved. NO TALENT now equals BIG BUCKS!!!! Why bother with singing lessons? Why bother with pitch? Why bother with any ability to hold a note? If you can dress stupid, shake your butt to the beat, and remember the words. . . . .YOU CAN BE A STAR!!!! Auto-Tune. Turning no talent into $$$$.
So here I am watching the 3/17 results show for American Idol, I can thank that on my wife because I NEVER watched it until she came around, and they have a very special guest group to perform their new song for us. . . . The Black Eyed Peas!!! (Cue screaming) Now even though I'm still a bit traumatized from the Super Bowl halftime show, I decided to give them another chance since it is a new song after all. Well what do I hear next? A nice piano beginning and then the lead singer breaks into the first verse. Guess what folks? AUTO-TUNE was doing it's job. So instead of hearing a normal voice, I got to hear a voice that sounded like just about every alien from the movies that uttered, "Take me to your leader". Certainly this must just be for an affect at the beginning RIGHT? Nope, him and the two other males in the band used it for the ENTIRE SONG. The only singer in the band, Fergie, actually didn't sound too bad, but she sounded as if she was a member of the new pop group, Fergie and the Martians.
Am I the only one that finds the irony in this? You are putting on a SINGING competition and the guest group you are having on is using an electronic device to make them sound better than they are. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Let me repeat that though so it sinks in. You are having a contest that its entire goal is to find the best singing talent in America and the role model you have perform for them can't sing on key without the help of an electronic box and program to help them. What a great message to tell these kids, and while we are at it, the rest of America. "You don't need the ability to sing. Just buy the program."
If you ask me, there are way too many hip hop, R & B, Pop "stars" that get away with this crap. Just turn on the radio today and you will hear this invention in all its glory. I can remember hearing Bon Jovi use the device that distorts Richie Sambora's voice at the beginning of "Living on a Prayer" and thinking how cool was that. Why? Because they only used it for a few measures and that was it. They didn't sound like that through the whole song or when singing any other song. It was done for effect because you hear Richie sing and he can actually sing. Imagine that. Talent for ya.
I think that every "artist" that relies on Auto-Tune for everything, or at least 80%, should just GO AWAY! Go away and make room for someone that can actually sing. If I want to hear a computer sing. I'll call Watson. That cool computer that kicked butt on Jeopardy. At least he will be able to sing ANYTHING I want and I can pull his plug when he gets annoying. Where is YOUR plug Black Eyed Peas???
GO AWAY AUTO-TUNE SINGERS!!!! JUST GO AWAY!!!!
Smile!!!
(disclaimer: Before anyone says that I don't have to listen to it, I agree, but sometimes it goes much deeper than that. It's the principle that on a singing show you are going to let a multi-million dollar group promote their song that they can't even sing without the help of a computer. Trust me. I turn a lot off in the car and try not to spend any money on them. I guess I must be from the "old school" that a musician actually had to have talent to perform. Silly me for expecting more out of today's "stars". Music is music and everyone has their own taste. I just hate to see people accept this kind of "artistry". If you love Auto-Tune created stars. That's fine with me, but I for one, just don't get it. MAKE THEM SING NATURAL and then decide how great they are.)
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