Second Chaps my Cheeks Award

I don't know who to give this award to. The media, people in general, or the man himself?  I mean, look at the past month or so, and this person has been in the public eye for a lot of reasons.  Plus, for the past couple of weeks, WE CAN'T GET AWAY FROM HIM.  Every time I turn on the TV there is a pretty good chance I'm going to see his face and hear another one of his arrogant, angry, demeaning, self-involved rants that belongs more inside a pro-wrestling ring rather than a news report.  In case you haven't figured it out by now who I'm talking about.  "Ladies and Gentlemen, he is the second recipient of my "Chaps My Cheeks" award.  You know him, you love him, and by now, I hope you are learning to HATE him.  I give you the one and, THANK GOD, the only. . . . .

Charlie "Whack Job" Sheen



I turn on the TV. . . .there he is.   I turn on the radio. . . . there he is.  I turn on the computer. . . . there he is.  I turn on the microwave. . . there he is.  I turn on my wife. . . AND THERE HE IS.  (Okay, that last one might not be true, but seeing as now he is unemployed. . . .anything can happen.)

What is it about this man that fascinates us?  What has he done so important to warrant this attention?  What makes his personal and professional life rate higher up in the news than the war, gas prices, police deaths, and about a thousand other things that I can say is more important in the world today?  

We have all had to sit here and watch this train wreck of a man destroy himself and instead of turning away, we just feed him the attention that he craves day in and day out.  Tell me. When is the last interview you saw with the young widow and fatherless children of a serviceman that gave his life for this country?  Let me know about that interview with oil companies that can explain to me WHY gas is flying up in price after OPEC has confirmed that there is plenty of reserve oil to go around.  Yet, every time I turn the media on, all I hear is, "Up next.  Charlie Sheen toots his own horn."  I'm just not getting this I guess.

I can't really blame Charlie Sheen on this one, he is just doing what we have enabled him to do.  I'm half tempted to get a hold of cocaine, order me some prostitutes, head over to the Holiday Inn, and trash the place until the cops have to be called.  I just wonder if I will be treated the same way as Charlie was.  The last time I checked.  #1.  Selling, buying, and using drugs is illegal in every state.  #2.  Vandalism is illegial in every state.  #3.  Prostitution is illegial in just about every state.  Am I correct here?

Why is it that time and time again, celebrities can break the law over and over and just walk away unscathed and in most cases, their stock goes up because of the attention?  What gives them less accountability for their actions?  How can someone get 2 DUI's and not spend more than 84 minutes in jail when you hear of "regular" people getting years for the same or even lesser offense?  The prison system is full of people that their crime was having some pot on them, either a little or a lot, but yet, a celebrity can have cocain, pot, heroin, or prescription drugs on them, and NOTHING happens.  It truly is sad and unfair if you ask me.  It's sad because they are taught that it's okay to do it and unfair because "normal" people's lives are ruined for the same kind of offenses.

So Charlie is now fired by Warner Brothers for his actions these past few weeks.  Am I supposed to feel sorry for him?   Am I supposed to start a charity to help Charlie out during this time of need?  Charlie was making around 2 million per episode on his show since 2010 and he was making around $850,000 per episode before that.  Trust me. . . He will be okay.  In fact, I'm willing to bet that new TV deals, movie scripts, and book deals are flooding into him right now even as my middle class hands type this.  That is the one thing you can guarantee when a celebrity goes bad.  There is ALWAYS someone waiting to pay them for doing it.

So who do I give this "Chaps my Cheeks" award to?  I'm starting to think I just need to give out three of them.

#1.  I present this award to Charlie Sheen for being a huge screw-up.  You time and time again like to remind all of us "lesser folks" that you are a WINNER and that you have it all under control.  I'm pretty sure you don't just by listening to you speak.  Please go away and get help Charlie or give the media and most of the public what they probably want in the end.   That would be suicide or an overdose that they can capitalize on.  SAD BUT TRUE FOLKS!!!!

#2.  I present this award to the Media.  You are the worst type of jackels that walk this land.  You find Charlie's crazy actions newsworthy when there is so much more important things going on in this country.  Recession, war, poverty, the housing crises, gas prices, police killings, and so much more.  Hey.  I got a great idea.  You stop giving him all this attention and he might just go away and get the help he needs so bad!!!!

#3.  I present this award to people in general.  I'm guilty of it too so don't think I'm above this award.  We love to see a celebrity crash and burn.  How many times have we seen this over and over and just keep watching with our popcorn and soda just waiting to see how it ends.  It usually ends up bad for the celebrity, but what do we care, they aren't real people anyways.  Perfect example of this is Michael Jackson.  Think about it.  How many of us had written him off as being a complete freak of nature.  We knew he did something bad, but we just couldn't prove it.  Then the best thing that ever could have happened for his career happened. . . .he died.  Once that happened, everyone came out of the woodwork saying what a great man he was and how the world was a worse place now that he was gone.  His funeral played out like a Hollywood production, he was worshiped, revered, and cried over when just weeks before, most of us would have grabbed out kids and ran if we would have seen him coming.  We really should be ashamed of ourselves, but why bother, THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT!!!!

So thanks Charlie for taking up all my media time by being such a huge idiot.  Thank you for proving once again that celebrities are above the law and KNOW IT!!!   Thank you for reminding me that I don't have what you have,  #1.  A drug and alcohol problem.  #2.  Relationship issues  #3. Your kids, because THEY WERE TAKEN FROM YOU.  

Yep, you have the wealth and that won't change, but you have only proven one thing to me during this time.  Instead of saying that you are on the drug WINNING, you really need to think about changing that to LOSING.  Because that's what we are seeing.

Smile!!!  (he won't be around much longer)